only....that person.....

Its made heart broke in pieces when the person u caring so much
and meaningful won’t see u anymore
Its ironic when u think the person understand u more than ur self
then u realize that person not understanding u more than u thought
Its more realy hurt than u can thought when u realize that person not ur lover
But that person made u disapointed much much....than ur lover ever do to u
Don’t u know why?...cos that person so meaningful in ur life....but u never realize
‘til that person walk away and ur feeling say....she/he won’t turn back and give u tender smile and comfort u anymore...
U won’t able hate that person cos that person left many memories in ur heart
And everytime u think how nice that person ever been,how sweet,how charming,
how wonderful u know that person even u wish so badly can delete that person seems like u delete all sms in inbox...outbox...drafts...email...phonebook ,cos that person made u realize that down deep in ur heart... u’re precious,ur life precious...then ur eyes feel hot when u thinking all bout this things....slowy tears just fall down and u can’t control it even u have been try so hard....u figure it out that person....its hard for u too breath....cos ur heart hurt so deeply more than u can know well....
why can u hurt so deeply....if that person not ur lover, or one of ur family...?why...why...why....u finaly got the answer....MEANINGFUL...yes...MEANINGFUL....it call MEANINGFUL....that person....

I want adventures!

i looked calendar...well, its 15th january now...wow,time go fast and i'm feel my life don't have lots of progress, just working (i can't say that i'm full time worker,but still better than jobless),go home and keep my self busy in my room,breakfast-lunch-dinner-supper,so life goes on like that...sumtimes i dunno do i exist in this world?yeah...sumtimes i spent my day with close frenz sitting in cofee shop,smoking,girls talks,men talks,nasty talks, meet new frenz,old frenz,get temporaly relation with man,hang out alone,going to cinema....maybe slowly but sure i accept life just go on like that....but wait...gw gak pengen hidup yg gw jalani cuma sperti itu...bagaimana jika saat gw ga ada lagi,yg dapat dikenang dalam hidup gw hanya itu?ini memang ego dr tiap manusia "Aku tidak puas dengan hidupku" kita yang selalu punya hasrat mencari lebih dalam hidup ini...bbrp minggu yg lalu, gw mimpi kembali ke masa SMP gw dengan diri gw yg saat ini, met boy who made me crush deeply over him,hmmm....still remember he has dimple in his right cheek ^^ ,walau perasaan gw ke dia sudah hilang long long time ago....tp rsanya sewaktu im my dream...i got that feeling again...saat itu gw seakan ga perduli apa yg akan terjadi detik berikutnya,hal berikutnya...just came approached him then without under 'mistletoe' i kiss him....gentle but passionate....hey, i know its juz dream but seems so real...perhaps i ever want him so badly then di bawah alam sadar gw pun ge pernah masih memikirkannya...but the point is, hey i want my life like that...full of surprise, memacu adrenalin, membuat gw tercengang namun di menit berikutnya....hey its cool,i like it!

Happy New Year 2005

Happy New Year 2005....just can't believe it...times past so fast....bahkan gw merasa gw belum melakukan byk perubahan yg lebih membaik dalam hidupku, masih byk resolusi di thn 2004 yang belum dapat gw lakukan di tahun lalu, menata hidup,saving lots money,tp gw mencoba optimis di tahun ini...entah apa yg akan terjadi...good or bad...tp gw berharap akan perubahan yg lebih membaik, dimana gw bisa lebih dewasa,wise,dan responsible....apa yang akan terjadi....terjadilah....